The non-apology apology—Monday edition

When Houston Texans owner Bob McNair unwittingly compared NFL players to prisoners, he apologized in the mealy-mouthed method that has become de rigueur these days: “If I offended anyone….”

You did.

A week before came Harvey Weinstein’s full statement of apology, too lengthy and frankly too bizarre to reprint here, but one which includes a promise to dismantle the NRA—about the only entity that he has, so far, not opened his robe for.

Thanks for that.

Representative Tim Murphy’s suggestion that the lover he thought he had impregnated seek an abortion, this after publicly denouncing abortions as murder, ignored what he had done in favor of what he would do. “In the coming weeks,” Murphy said, “I will take personal time to seek help as my family and I continue to work through our personal difficulties and seek healing.”

OUR personal difficulties. Weren’t they HIS until he made them OUR? Happy healing, Mr. Murphy.

Yet all these pale by comparison to Kevin Spacey’s astonishing admission today that yes, thirty-one years ago at the age of twenty-six he had indeed assaulted a fourteen year-old child (though he doesn’t remember, you know, being drunk and all.) And also, to ensure the fact that such an event never happens again, he will admit to his being gay and will live the the remainder of his life as a gay man.

And that is somehow, what, punishment?

If he really believes that there are different moral code for heterosexuals and homosexuals, then he has bought into, and worse promulgated, an ancient lie that the predation of gay men outstrips that of their straight counterparts. It’s as if the concepts of gay marriage and gay monogamy—the past fifty years—have escaped his awareness. It’s a shame he missed it, now that he’s gay. Maybe he’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Why didn’t he just admit that he was indeed indiscreet and offensive, and that he laments (and always has lamented) what he did, and that he’s genuinely sorry. Period. Humans want to forgive, but you have to ask for it and mean it.

And if, like Mr. Weinstein, Mr. Spacey wants to take on the NRA, I say have at it. But in addition to, not as a smokescreen for, more immediate concerns.

 

 

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